The freedom of chains

I have now decided to take out a mobile phone contract, of sorts. As far as I understand it, I am not locked into it, but if I cancel then my Broadband contract will go up in price. This is the wily way of VirginMedia.

And without a thought I've ditched the exciting in-house entertainment that is cable TV. The first time I did that it was a terrifying decision - a crazy assault on the notion that 20th century television is a must without which I would wither and die. But I took it back later when I found that it was actually cheaper to have TV than not to (that was the wily, weird, way of Telewest, now VirginMedia).

As the proud owner of a ridiculously large phone, I thought that it was time to move on from my pay-as-you-go position and start feeling that I could occasionally make a phone call without waiting until I get to work to make free calls, as I'm surely saving enough through not having to buy toilet paper and envelopes already.

So, in effect, I've swapped the TV for 100 free minutes of calls a month. Now I've got to find people to call having carefully avoided making friends in the last few years as I hate topping up my phone. And I dropped the home phone long ago in favour of Skype, and only phone people I know very well on that as they're used to me breaking up, running out of credit, or are used to recieving silent calls when my soundcard doesn't work.

And the real nightmare of changing networks or doing anything in this age? Passwords! You speak to people that you set up an account with some years ago - "What is your memorable word?" Bugger! would probably be the best one as that's the one that pops into my head whenever I'm asked. "And the first 2 digits of your 4 number code?" They won't let me use bugger for that one.

So, determined to make a clean break from past mistakes, I decide to use a word that is memorable and I can always recall even if asked again in a year. "Lumbago," bounds out of my mouth for no apparent reason and will rest on the account now until I've completely forgotten it. Bugger!